It has become common advice to say that if a person is angry, they should not hold it in, but must vent. The thought is that if we don’t, the pressure will build up and it will become too much for us. Yet, is this really true? There are two ways to answer this. First, ask yourself the question, “Of those people I know who tend to vent a lot, do we see them happier and angry less or do they typically keep getting angry?” The answer is obvious.
Second, think about what Scripture teaches. This week’s Hammer Verse is Proverbs 29:11: “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” Here are some similar scriptural statements. “A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated” (Prov. 14:17). “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly” (Prov. 14:29). “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Prov. 16:32). “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).
So, what do you believe God’s response is to those who think we must vent our anger? Yes, again, the answer is obvious.
What is the real solution to our anger? Romans 13:14 gives us the answer. “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” What is the outcome? Ephesians 4:29-32 answers: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
When I saw this hammer verse, it made me think about the book I am reading right now. The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard. There are disciplines of abstinence mentioned and also disciplines of engagement. A fool venting is evident of an undisciplined life that does not practice silence, prayer and perhaps confession. When anger, disappointment or unmet expectations are experienced in life, one who is wise will practice spiritual disciplines which may include submission, worship and possibly silence as a means of "venting" to trust God in challenging situations. I believe that how one "vents" is the issue, not that one "vents".
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